When I compare Bosnia to Croatia, I see Croatia as the hot girl that everyone likes. She’s popular, fun, her house is the prettiest on the block and everyone wants to party with her. She is a little crazy but a lot of fun, you know the type.
Bosnia is Croatia’s friend that she bullies on the down low. No one approaches her at the club because Croatia always steals the spotlight .
You don’t notice her at first but once you get to know her you want to see what’s underneath the rough exterior and discover a whole world of unimaginable beauty.
In the end she takes you for a ride and you experience all emotions because she’s just as crazy as Croatia, if not even crazier.
Bosnia will seduce you then cut you, then make you breakfast, then stab you with a fork.
This is how we were seduced and hurt by Bosnia, all in three days.
The Bus Drivers of Bosnia
It started with a bus ride to Jajce city (translated as either eggie or tiny testicle, whichever you prefer) with an estimated 5 hour bus ride.
Jay and I got in and I remembered I took this same bus to Bosnia 14 years ago. so they are, if nothing, very loyal.
The passengers on board were Jay, me and one more guy so we sat near the exits and spread out like cream cheese all over the seats. That doesn’t sound right, I meant like, we had room, you know what I mean?
I found a pair of pants in one of the seats and the driver made a comment how he’s surprised there’s no shit in them. I wondered; how often does he find one with shit in them? Who shits their pants in a bus?
There was so many questions flying trough my mind but the bus driver turn the bus on and I could no longer hear them because the ENGINE GOT SO LOUD, MY THOUGHTS WERE YELLING IN MY HEAD.
The bus coughed trough the mountains of Croatia until we reached the Bosnian border. It got about 10 degrees colder and the driver got about 10 degrees crazier.
He was swerving on that road like it’s the Autobahn and he’s testing a new BMW, I was jumpin in my seat like I’m on a horse. It was dark outside, so I couldn’t see where we’re going and I’m pretty sure he couldn’t either.
He finally pulled over for a 10 min break. I went out still kind of swerving from the ride and had a little chat with him (not about his driving). We talked about life in Bosnia and life in Canada and all sorts of stuff you talk about bus drivers with
“I have a raging toothache” he confides in me, his passenger.
I politely smiled and remembered how much I didn’t care for my life when I had a toothache and realized this charming fella and his toothache might get us there, and they might not.
“Maybe you should get some painkillers for that” I suggested in effort to save my life.
“I don’t know… I’ll see when we get to Jajce, I don’t know what’s there, I’ve never been on this route” he explained.
Only one of three Bosnian Gods can help us now, I thought.
We continued on trough the roads of Bosnia built on by a local improv group.
We made it to Jajce an hour before schedule. I gotta hand it to the driver, he did get us there alive.
With no phones and no cabs around it was time to use what we had in front of us – a pissed off looking man smoking a cigarette.
I asked the man to call us a cab or something; Jay was getting all the stares because they thought he was a refugee from Syria (lol) and our cabbie came trough finally (I wasn’t sure he would, the moustache guy showed no emotion)
A skinny man came out smiling asking us where to.
I had no clue because my phone died tho.
“Hm” I said “Airbnb in the top of the city” I said.
“OH! Silva!” Emir yelled out “I’ll give her a call for you”
“Hey Silva! Imal’ zime?” (Basically, is there winter?) he went on and on and on (while driving), picked up a friend along the way
“He’s just gonna give me a ride, I’m on the way, you don’t mind right?” The friend said.
“Well, she’s waiting! Welcome to Jajce, the most beautiful city in the world!” Emir the cabbie went on about the history of the town for while we climbed the cobbled road.
Finally we reached our AirBnb in the middle of this freakin tower, surrounded by flowers, two kitties and a beautiful dog it seemed like I entered a Disney fairy tale.
Jajce – The unexpected beauty
I don’t’ know what I expected but I didn’t expect this. This little town was towered with a fortress from the 14th century, underneath it a beautiful waterfall, and all put together with this cute aura. I guess if you were to built a little cute city in a little cute egg it would look like this.
You get the feeling everyone here is a cute grandma that will invite you over for cookies and knit you a sweater, you know what I mean? That’s the vibe the town gives off.
Pretty much frozen solid, we jumped into a dollar store to find some cheap clothes, where we ran into a Chinese man speaking Bosnian and I found that so fascinating I wanted to talk to him only, no matter how hard the other lady tried.
She was nice but she was no Chinese man speaking Bosnian.
I needed some Bosnian KM so I asked where the exchange office is.
“Ooooh, Jajce doesn’t have one!” Bosnian-speaking Chinese (or Chinese, speaking Bosnian, I confused myself now) and the lady with the lil moustache going on on her face (I tried not to look) explained to me the bank will do that for me.
The bank was a little intense because I had to sit on this chair to talk to a teller but I didn’t pick up that it had wheels on it, fuckers were hidden, so it kind of slid down from under me and I almost fell, and then when I tried to get up the fuckin thing started sliding again. I grabbed the desk to try to save a little dignity that I had left but it was a LOT LIGHTER THAN EXPECTED so the thing kind of shook with the ladies family’s pics and I let it go and kind of slightly jumped on the chair and saved myself from the fall, but not from the embarrassment.
The bank was a size of a bathroom too so I had this whole intimate experience with 10 other people in here, trying to keep a straight face, all looking anywhere but in my direction.
I then had to sit in this moment while I exchange money.
I got out of there finally, used Jajce City wi-fi (they have a city wi-fi ! UHM Toronto???) to find Jay and start our day in Jajce.