One Night in Rome – Guide on What Not To Do OR How we Paid 1200$ for a 20 Minute Flight

We got better at travelling with time so please only slightly judge us based on the following story of our first trip together.

Research” and “reading” seemed like a thing only narcs and nerds do, so with a strong desire to just get there we booked a one way ticket Toronto – Rome. Decent price of 300$ so we were even more cocky on our abilities to just get there without any plans.

We booked the next leg  Rome – Split for 80$ pp and congratulated ourselves for being the masters of the travel universe.

The first thing I noticed when I landed at the Fiumicino airport was that we didn’t go trough any customs, passport control or in general a human in a uniform asking who we are!
I don’t know how this happened. I kept walking and all of the sudden I was outside of the airport.
Did we somehow went around? Is Italy just a free for all type of country?
To this day this is an unresolved mystery.

Well then we turned around because we had some check ins to do and the transport nightmare had begun.

You could tell Mercury was in retrograde.

“Overbooked!” The Vueling girl said without any explanation. You see Vueling Airline trains their customer service to say as little but as rude as possible.

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Flight!!! Overbooked!!!

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*Italian accent* “You get refund if you reference this number when you call, NEXT”

“Wait wait, can we book another flight?”
“NO flights, NEXT”

Ok, this 160$, we’ll get a refund, nbd.
We go online and find that Vueling does in fact, have more flights. (She was just doing her job of being as uninformative as possible, that’s ok.)
We book one at 3, one at 6. We will have to go on separate flights, but that’s ok.
These were 250 for both, but that’s ok, we are still on budget.

We go to the same sweetheart at the desk.
“Ok, you’re in, tomorrow 3 PM for you *points at me*, 6 PM for you *points at Jay* BYE”

aeropuerto-fiumicino
Just follow the sign and literally no one stops you.

Fine, we have our flights, let’s go explore Rome.
Things like accommodation did not concern our heads. Lets just get there.

We made it there with a crazy expensive taxi. You see, Rome has a decent public transportation that is cheap but we were lazy, drunk and we deserved to be extorted by that driver.

We make it to the Rome Colosseum. Jay has an epiphany on history, I realize this is really a monument to history of civilization, it’s a wonderful moment that we have zero photos of.
We sit a bit, get extorted for a photo with some useless gladiators (well, Jay does) and we go for dinner, lost this photo too.

1AM, 3 Bottles of wine later.

This part is somewhat blurry but we are at the Colosseum again.
Here’s how I remember it.

Walking.
Jay’s sandal in the bush.
Yelling.
Jay jumps of a wall cause he’s a gladiator.
Jay doesn’t land well.
We laugh.
Jay can’t walk.
We laugh.
Jay’s face is bleeding.
We get a bit serious.
Jay didn’t break anything.
We laugh.

We meet some Mexicans.

It’s 5 am and We’re at Fontana di Trevi.

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We at least have one nice photo, his injuries are on the other side so he looks decent.

That’s the one thing we did absolutely right – sightseeing at night.
When in Europe, always sight-see at night. You’ll avoid all the crowds and get all the best photos.

Us and the Mexican couple (her name is Julieta, forgot his) walked around the dead city for a bit and Jay and I had to go back to the airport because the night has ended and we had to be in Croatia ASAP. We were now also hungover, and we wanted to nap at the airport. Jay is full of blood too, and now he’s starting to feel his injuries.

Another taxi extortion later (and the price changed throughout the journey too…seriously, don’t take a taxi in Rome) we have made it back to Fiumicino.

Our Vueling lady wasn’t there but her equally bitchy co-workers definitely went trough the same training successfully.

“This flight. This was 6 am not 6 pm. You miss this.”

“You’re kidding”
“Kidding?” She said because the concept of anything fun was foreign to her.

“You miss flight. BYE.”

I had mine at 3 PM still but Jay now had no way of getting to Croatia, and we were on a time limit.
The idea of leaving without a plan now seemed to backfire a bit.
We haven’t slept the whole night, we were now hungover, he had a fucked up toe and we had to be there today.

Frantically search for flights on the busiest day in the middle of August in Rome is another what NOT to do.
It was now 1 pm, the time for me to board my flight was coming up and Jay still had no way of leaving Rome.
Another thing NOT to do is not leave any time before you have to be somewhere because you will pay 800 $ for the last seat on a plane to Croatia.

Well, we died inside a little bit, promised ourselves we will be smarter from now on, and boarded our flights.
My Vueling flight attendant was just as much of a jerk as everyone else working for that company, whose refund we never got.
In fact, I hate them so much I go out of my way not to fly with them no matter what.
(Still bitter.)

But we made it to Croatia.
Broke, tired, hungover, injured and hungry. I was so happy to see my hometown.

 

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